Excellent Communicating - The True Secret For Happiness And Love
Why are certain individuals a lot more successful than other people in their personal lives and in their professional environment?
The root cause of the problem is communication or to be more precise: effective communication. It's really surprising that a lot of communication is going well the majority of the time. However, if a communication issue happens, the question is: what went wrong?
This typically remains an unanswered question. There are many books, articles and websites dedicated to the problems of communication.
Wouldn't it be extremely helpful to have a simple formula of effective communication which may be used in all circumstances? I think the following formula could be helpful:
Effective Communication, is equal to self interest plus the interest of others and minus disturbing factors.
Let's consider the three elements of this formula.
-Self Interest
When individuals communicate, self interest is probably the main reason for communication.
The most important problem in communication is probably asymmetry. The two people in question are having totally different agendas and completely different interests which is further complicated by asymmetries of, information, power and authority.
For that reason, negotiation skills and tactics have become an extremely important trait of modern civilization. This civilizing process is basically a shift from a "command and control" communication culture to a "negotiating and persuasion" culture.
-Interest of Other Individuals
The capacity to listen, to get and give feedback, to control anger ("anger management"), conflict resolution, stress control, etc., happen to be discussed in great lengths by a lot of authors, scholars, management trainers, and so on.
How can one discover the interests of other people? This requires a proactive approach from both parties. Two strategies might be helpful.
The first strategy is known as the PAIR approval strategy: Placate (listen, empathize, reply with concern); Attend (to the other); Investigate (circumstances details of issue); Resolve (decide on course of action).
The second strategy is referred to as the five-step method: listen, react, decide on action, take action and follow up.
-Disturbing Factors
The third portion of effective communication is probably the most difficult one: how to eliminate disturbing factors or how to overcome communication barriers.
There are essentially six types of barriers between folks communicating with each other: differences in perception, incorrect filtering, language barriers, poor listening, differing emotional states, and also differing backgrounds.
To be able to overcome these barriers, one should be willing to steer clear of selective perception, condense messages to the bare essentials, use specific and accurate words as much as possible, often verify your interpretation of what's been said, be conscious of the feelings that arise in yourself and in other individuals as you communicate, and attempt to control them.
When you've mastered effective communication, apply it to your dating life.
Effective communication and helpful advice on how to spot a player can help you handle unnecessary dating pressure. For example, if you are asking yourself, "is he a player?" and have discovered that he is a player use the suggestions from above to successfully manage the situation.
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